free stuff

college students like free things.  people like free things.  i like free things.
so when i receive the text "i have leftover pad thai if u want it" i get very excited.  i not only enjoy pad thai a lot, i really enjoy not paying for it.
making something free is a great incentive.  that's why every organization that is looking for members offers something for free.  and, if it's food.  i usually take it.
i've received many free things in my life.  many of which i do not deserve.  I even enjoyed the pad thai with a pair of bamboo chopsticks my aunt gave me as a graduation gift.
free stuff.
food isn't the only item that's free on campus.  advice is plentiful as well.  advice on almost anything. advice from people who have experience.  it is great.
but if i ever mention free things, it always makes me think of the most important free gift i've received.  grace.  god's forgiveness.  a god loved me so much that he would give his son to save me.  i may not have deserved the free pad thai, but i definitely did not deserve salvation from an all powerful god.
so i attempt to be grateful for everything i receive.

time alone

when you are a music major you must practice.  it is not optional.    

when you are a performance major, you must practice many hours a day.  

when you practice, you are alone.  

alone with your instrument. 

i'm here for improvement. truthfully, improvement in everything. communicating, writing, playing, learning, connecting, reciting, performing, thinking... sleeping....

for me, much of that improvement has to be done alone. 

i can study in a group, but i study better alone.  i get through material faster, i complete assignments better, and i memorize much quicker.  of course i still need to study in a group.  sometimes.  college offers a unique availability of people.  if i want to study in a group, i  can, if i need a secluded area i can have that too.   

and, if i'm lucky, i can have a big, resonant room to practice in.  

there is a lot of people here

yes there is.  i graduated from a class of 46, if i remember correctly.  i knew almost everyone there.  that's not very many.  it would probably only take just over fifteen minutes to take individual selfies with each one of them.
here, there are 900+ entering first year students.  that's a lot more people.
so many names.
i've re-met people many times.  "oh, you're another kate!" is usually what i say.  there are more than a few kates here.
i already see people that remind me of others that i have known.  it almost makes me feel as though i know them because i knew someone like them.  such is only partially the case.
so many people are joining organizations because "it's a good way to meet people."
bull.
you can meet people anywhere you go.  they're everywhere.  
my first assigned paper was a comparison between my new experience at college and the circumstances of immigrants coming to ellis island in the 19th century.
there are a lot of similarities.  we are both dealing with an entirely new environment; we have heard what this new place is like, but have never seen it; we are finding out what it is really about; we are living with entirely new people; and even eating new food.  both our new worlds promise prosperity.  and with work, that will come.
 it will come.

the benefit of distinction

i recently lost my favorite shades. they have brought me many compliments. they look a lot like the sunglasses john lennon used to wear.  you know, circular.  i was at dinner.  i got up to get more food; when i got back, gone.   i think the cleanup people cleaned them up...
that was yesterday. i was not happy, but it was raining today.  the absence hurt less because i did not need to wear them.
however, as i was walking across campus, someone got my attention and called me over.
yep.
they had my shades.  they saw them at the registers for the cafe.  and, they knew they were mine.
how?
no one else has those shades on campus... that i know of.  my individuality made me memorable.  which is nice.
but that is what you always need.  something to set you apart.  sometimes you are born with it: a unique name, extra hight, or charisma.  but you do not have to be born with it.  you can find it yourself.
so that's what i will try to do.

"you're like a butterfly"

a direct quote from someone in my first year seminar class: new york, new york.  you'd never guess, so i'll tell you: it's about new york.  she said i was like a butterfly because i sporadically come and leave the group of us students who are lucky enough to be studying the big apple this fall.  this is only partially true.  i do find the need to flutter my way around a bit, but only a bit.
everyone on my floor seems to be getting an animal name.
even with all the welcomes to college and offers for help, this is quite a bite to be chewing.
i've made my deal with the devil for the books,
i've worn flipflops in the shower,
i've met four bens, three daniels, two graces, and one hudson, (which was most surprising)
and i've become a college student.

this reminds me of a haiku i wrote my sister for her birthday:

like the fuzzy worm,
you have slept, and grown, and changed.
so you butterfly

on the burning of bridges

no, i didn't actually burn it.  those things are freaking expensive.  i remember the first thing i ever broke on my cello was a bridge.  $60.  thanks mom for paying that.  i'm not really burning any relational bridges either.  i'm just leaving town.  time for college.  i'm burning emotional bridges to my past.
so deep.  i'm throwing away so much junk.  i'll get a bunch more soon, anyway.  i'm growing up; making big boy decisions.  on that topic, i decided to start writing on this again.  considering i wasn't even in high school when i started it, and now i'm off to college, it's going to be different.  just like my life will be different.  i'm going to drake university.  i've never lived in iowa, but now i'll be doing it with someone i've never met.  what an adventure!
i'm nostalgic for what was, excited for what will be.
anne bradstreet wrote a nice poem about something burning up in her life too.  she had to let go of it.  the last four lines of her poem:
There‘s wealth enough, I need no more,
Farewell, my pelf, farewell, my store.
The world no longer let me love,
My hope and treasure lies above.

Word of the Week

semplice |ˈsempliˌ ch ā|adverb Music(as a direction) in a simple style of performance.ORIGIN Italian, literally ‘simple.’